Module 4 / Lesson 4.2: Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Freelance life as an illustrator isn’t easy and as you may already know, stress and anxiety are very common when you run your own business. They’re almost embedded in freelance life, they’re here to stay and we have to learn how to cope with them. It doesn’t help when you already experience anxiety in your life, as I - and I’m sure a lot of you - do. But I want to focus on how to live with anxiety as a freelancer, how you can embrace the highs and the lows to grow and gain perspective on your (work) life. Let’s see how I do it!
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Grow from feedback and criticism
Being a freelance illustrator, you will face negative feedback and criticism. It’s a given. What’s important is how you react to it and what you take away from it. Clients won’t always love everything you do and that’s ok. I’m sure they mostly will, because they will know what to expect, style wise. But in the rare case they don’t like it and aren’t very tactful in the way they criticise it, try to distance yourself from your work a little bit. I know it’s hard because our illustration work is so linked to who we are as creative human beings, but sometimes, to preserve ourselves, we need to take a step back and not overthink it. There are also two types of criticism. The constructive type and the non-constructive type. You need to ignore the latter because it won’t make anything grow, neither you, the work or the client. On the other hand, a lot of feedback can usually be constructive and help you become a better illustrator by questioning some things. Listen to that kind of feedback carefully, don’t take it too personally and grow from it. You’re on this giant learning curve and you’ll need other people to help you be your best.
Deal with anxiety
Below are some of the things I do to help me when my anxiety reaches high levels. None of these are fool-proof, some days they work, some days they don’t, but that’s mental health for you. Nothing is easy, but if you try hard enough and learn about yourself, you can find your own coping mechanisms and you’ll get to a point where you can embrace anxiety and recognise it for what it is. Don’t let anxiety define you, try to think of it as a passing black cloud (or a tropical storm). Don’t forget that this is all a work in progress, it’ll always be tricky and you’ll always have to be patient and loving with yourself.
Write it down
Grab a piece of paper and start writing… Your wildest (work) dreams. Always start with the good. Think about what you want to achieve during your career/life. Think big! You can do anything if you truly believe in it. Anything is possible, as long as you work hard, stay true to yourself and take care of your most precious tool: your mind. So write down these dreams again, think about the best that can happen, think about the joy, the happy moments and the goals to achieve. Believe it all, it will happen! But because writing down your wildest dreams can also be scary (How will I make this happen?! Can I really do this? Am I good enough? What if…) you’ve got to make another list. You have to start writing down what could go wrong. What’s the worst that could happen? Sometimes we fear the future without really knowing what’s coming. I know it might sound a bit grim, but writing down the worst case scenario will help. In most cases, you’ll realise that nothing is that bad that it can’t be avoided, or fixed. And that whatever happens, you’ll have the tools to fix any situation without losing your mind.
Slow down
Slow down and breathe... Lie on the floor somewhere calm, with no distraction, no noise. Close your eyes, breathe. If you can, start doing some gentle movements. Stretch. Practice yoga. Yoga has had a huge impact on my mental health. All the breathing, the stretching and the focus needed in a yoga practice are helpful to reduce stress. Meditation can also help a lot. I don’t personally practice meditation yet, I wish I could, but I am so very bad at staying still and not overthinking. I’m hoping I will get to experience its benefits one day. Whatever you choose to do, don’t forget the most important part of it all: breathing. Try not to hold your breath while you work. Take time to notice your breathing patterns and get in touch with your body that way.
Listen to the right thing
I started listening to classical music when I read that it was soothing to dogs. I was trying to get my puppy Luna to go to sleep whilst I was working, so I picked a Spotify playlist randomly. Ten minutes later, Luna was fast asleep and I was feeling better. My heart was beating at a regular pace and I was feeling calm and almost stress-free. I think it really helps me to listen to music and sound, as opposed to songs with lyrics as that’s when I end up taking in what’s being said in the song and either feeling super depressed or a bit over-excited. Whatever you listen to will have a huge impact on your mood and well-being.
Read something good
Whenever you feel very anxious, try to put down your phone and grab a book instead. Books are mirrors of our societies, they’re little truth tellers. I don’t think reading a book will ever make you feel bad (contrary to scrolling on social media). You can find comfort in books. Books will make you feel less alone and will help you understand how to cope with issues you might have. I know it’s sometimes hard to pick the right book or find the book that will help you, so here’s a little selection of books that really helped my mental health and my work.
Notes on a nervous planet by Matt Haig (about mental health in our modern society and what’s really happening to us)
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (about creativity and ideas, and trusting the magic)
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (about finding your truth and your way)
Reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig (about finding ways to cope with mental illness)
Out of our minds by Ken Robinson (about creativity)
Exercise
It doesn’t have to be for long, it doesn’t have to be complicated, it just has to be something that makes you feel good. I know I love to exercise in the sea: kite surfing, surfing, swimming, free diving…they all make me feel great. I can’t do all of these around Margate, but I would literally spend all my time in the sea if I could. Otherwise I love kickboxing and yoga. But that’s just me. You might like to dance and you can do that anywhere, you might like to play tennis or rugby, you might like to run… Basically anything that gets you moving is great! Why? Because while you’re getting out of breath focusing on the sport you love, your mind finally has some alone time to reset. The cloud has gone (maybe not entirely, but now you can see some blue sky) and you can work and live a bit more peacefully again.
Nurture your community
It may be hard talking to other people about anxiety. It’s always scary showing yourself as vulnerable, but we all are! The more we share our fears and anxieties, the more compassion and love will be shown, and the better we will ALL feel about these issues. So reach out to other freelancers, ask them question, tell them how you feel and ask if they ever felt the same way, ask them what they did when they felt down. Go into the world and share your vulnerabilities, connect to other humans and talk about what’s on your mind. Find your mentors, find your friends and build your own support system to help you when your anxiety reaches levels you can’t cope with alone.
Look back and appreciate how far you’ve come
This is essential for your mental health and your progression as an illustrator. It’s so easy to keep your head down for months and only work, work, work. Sometimes, you need to look up and look back to see how far you’ve come. You need to make time to celebrate your achievements. Because you’re a freelancer, you won’t have anyone doing a yearly appraisal of your work and telling you how well you’ve been doing. You need to be doing this yourself and know when and how to celebrate your victories!
My favourite Freelance Communities
•Creative Lady Collective
•Ladies, Wine & Design
•Freelance Collective
•Freelancing Females
•Freelance Founders